Script

ROGER

Well, if it isn’t our neighbor Cruella De Vil come to pay us a visit!

CRUELLA

What on earth is all that racket? How am I ever going to get my beauty sleep?

ANITA

Why Cruella, what a lovely fur!

CRUELLA

(preening)

Do you like it? It’s a genuine one-of-a-kind – and cost ooooodles of pounds! Now I have nearly completed my collection of every kind of fur coat in the entire world!

ANITA

It’s... lovely. And I am terribly sorry about the noise.

ROGER

The puppies mean no harm.

CRUELLA

Well, just be sure the puppies don’t do it again! I don’t want the yowls and growls of little furry spotted creatures...

(inspiration dawns)

Little furry spotted creatures...

(inspects the PUPPIES more closely)

Why, I don’t think I’ve quite seen anything like them. Look at the depth! Look at the patterns! Why, they’re practically works of art!

(aside)

And just what I need to complete my collection!

(to ROGER and ANITA)

You know what? I’ve changed my mind. I’ve been without a pet long enough. No one to play with. I can’t wait to wear— I mean, care for all the little puppies. I’ll buy the whole litter! How much?

ANITA

Oh, I’m afraid we can’t give them up. Poor Perdita and Pongo would be heartbroken!

CRUELLA

Anita, don’t be ridiculous. You can’t possibly afford to keep them.

(looks around)

You can scarcely afford to feed yourselves.

(chuckles, ripping off a check from her checkbook)

Here’s a hundred for the lot.

ROGER

(indignant)

Cruella, we’re not selling the puppies.

CRUELLA

Oh, surely, you must be joking.

(rips another check)

Two hundred!

ROGER

(intimidated)

No, no, no. I— I— I mean it.

CRUELLA

All right, you’ve forced my hand.

(rips another check)

Three zillion pounds. And that’s my final offer!

ROGER

I’m sorry, Cruella.

(takes a breath, mustering his resolve)

We are not selling a single one.